Torn.

This is only the third post on my blog and I'm already getting anxious to start customizing the look of it. This has become the theme of the month for me.  Worrying and obsessing about saving money for the wedding, or spending it on branding myself.  These thoughts are constantly in the back of my mind; nagging and stalking and keeping me up nights as I feud with my inner monologue. I'm just SO eager to start creating my brand and to really get my name out there....but then again I have this wedding.  And weddings...well, they ain't cheap!  Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled to be getting married to such an amazingly sweet and supportive man who wants nothing but the best for me. Even so, I feel like I have to make a choice between having the wedding of my dreams, or launching my career.  This blog can only get me so far.  Without making it my own and having it reflect my style, it's just another diary of a confused girl lost inside the inter-web.

So what's this confused little girl to do? How can I justify dropping $200 of money that could go towards my wedding on a customized photography blog right now (where I can actually post my photos)?  After the blog it's my logo, after the logo it's my website...none of this is an option, it's what I have to do.  Whether it be now or later.  I know this is my calling.  It's my passion.  It's all I can see myself doing...even if I have to wait tables everyday until I can eventually make enough money to pay my bills.

So where do I go from here?  There's still so much planning to do what with the invites, the flowers, the dress, the dj, the favors...the list goes on and on.  It's not like I don't enjoy doing it.  It's just that with everything else going on in my life, it's hard to really just enjoy it.

I'm just being an emotional girl today. I know we'll get through it.  We always do.